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Richard Cheese – Appertif For Destruction

When I first popped Appertif For Destruction in the player at my day job, Richard Cheese led off with a lounge intro, and broke his first breath, “Sittin at home home with my dick on hard.” That was as far as it got before I had to pop it out. I didn’t realize at the time that it was a cover of 2 Live Crew’s “Me So Horny.”

Later, in the comfort of home, I gave it another shot. The whole 16-track LP is a balladeering satanic Sinatra covering a slew of familiar tracks in brilliant dinner party form.


Honestly, “Me So Horny” is the least impressive of the pieces. It’s the Mambo version of U2’s “Sunday Bloody Sunday,” the bouncing “Man In The Box” by Alice In Chains, Jane’s Addiction’s “Been Caught Stealin’” and Green Day’s “American Idiot” that truly take the cake.

His cover of Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” is another cover of that original tragedy that actually does it justice.

The winner by leaps is Slipknot’s “People Are Shit;” but not far behind is “The Girl Is Mine” by Jackson and McCartney. It features Cheese completing the duet with Steven Hawking, for fuck’s sake!

Have this ready the next time you have people over for mimosas on a Sunday morning, and you will be the coolest person in the room for far more than a generous pour of champagne.


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