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Pink Spiders Offer to Help Inject some Rock ‘n’ Roll Into McCain’s Campaign

Pink Spiders Offer to Help Inject Some Rock ‘n’ Roll Into McCain’s Campaign

Word on the street is McCain is taking a little R&R time over the next few days as the Dems get ready to rock Obama all the way to the White House this week. Good thing too, since he was really starting to age as a result of all the crap shoveling he’s been doing. Plus, he has to catch up on his naps and have someone remind him of how many houses he actually owns. Rough.

It also seems like Matt Friction of the Pink Spiders has noticed that the ads depicting Obama as the reason for high gases prices or his celebrity relation to idiots such as Paris Hilton isn’t getting McCain’s campaign much traction with the kids.

In an effort to help the old guy and level the rock ‘n’ roll playing field, he crafted this very generous offer and letter to McCain’s senior advisor. It was mighty big of him we think, so we thought we’d pass it along for your reading pleasure.

Taking the Pink Spiders as an example, maybe you too can do your part by helping an elderly person across the street or calling your grandparents once in a while, and not just when you want money. Just don’t offer to drive them to the voting booth if they’re Republican. We’re just kidding! Jeez…


Steve Schmidt, McCain 2008 Senior Advisor
P.O. Box 16118
Arlington, VA 22215

Sen. John McCain
United States Senate
241 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510

August 19, 2008

Dear Senator McCain,

We were bummed to hear that Jackson Browne recently sued you over your use of his song “Running on Empty” in a campaign ad. We, The Pink Spiders, think it’s uncool that someone would try and mess with your quest for total Republican world domination. Here’s the thing: most 18-30-year-olds have no idea who the hell that guy is. I mean, has his song ever been on MTV’s Total Request Live? Or an iPod commercial? We think not.

That said, we understand your genius in using contemporary music to reflect your concerns for your constituency, and we figured we could help you out by letting you use one of our ultra-popular smash hits for your next campaign ad. We’re young and good-looking, something your campaign could use a dose of.

Take, for example, our new single “Gimme Chemicals.” This one speaks directly to many of the issues that your voters care about: a national health care system, medical insurance reform, and especially the skyrocketing costs of the many prescription pharmaceuticals that folks your age are known to take in mass quantities. We all know how much you senior citizens like to party with those “little blue pills,” right?

And if that song doesn’t catch your attention, there’s plenty more from our brand new record, Sweat It Out (for release on Sept. 23), that pretty much speak for themselves in telling voters what to expect from a McCain Presidency: “Here Comes Trouble,” “Settling For You,” “Stranglehold,” “Trust No One,” and “Falling With Every Step.” Isn’t it a crazy coincidence that pretty much ALL of our songs work for your campaign? Wow. See for yourself — click here to preview all our tracks.

The Pink Spiders and John McCain: it’s a match made in heaven. With our help, we think you’ll be elected Supreme Emperor of America with no Sweat.

Rock on, (as Paris Hilton said) “old grey-haired dude!”

Matt Friction &
The Pink Spiders

For more information, visit:
(full album stream)

-Posted by: Kim Owens

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