What’s more fun than flocks of scantily clad women dancing, singing, spinning on hoops and ropes, and covering each other in whipped cream?
That’s right. Nothing. And that’s just what happened at December 12th’s Burlesque XXX-Mas at the Ogden Theater.
The deliciously raunchy Kitten on the Keys was Mistress of Ceremonies for the evening, wearing a different outfit and wig nearly each time onstage, and occasionally using small stuffed animals as pasties. During breaks from dance performances by the burlesque troupes, she sang twisted songs about such things as a plushie boyfriend (plushie, n : one who has a sexual fetish for stuffed animals) and anal hamster insertion.
Local Denver troupes Burlesque As It Was and Oracle Dance opened the show with group numbers, Oracle Dance with a bellydance-burlesque-acrobatic act that involved twining their bodies around each other as well as ropes hanging from the ceiling, and Burlesque As It Was in Christmas-present boxes and present-shaped pasties to the tune of “Here Comes Santa Claus.” The girls range from thin to voluptuous, with only one thing in common: They’re all beautiful.
But then came Dita. Dita who has revived “pinup girl” as a career path. Dita in a red sequined corset that she even managed to get out of sexily. And Catherine D’Lish in a gypsy costume oddly reminiscent of Stevie Nicks–if Stevie Nicks had a 13-inch waist and a penchant for stripping in the laps of men while she sang. Yep, all that, and she sang, too. Both of these ladies are physically tiny, but their stage presence is huge, and one can see why in the old days of burlesque, superstars were more common.
Solo sets from members of Oracle Dance, featuring the sexy-gypsy music of local act DeVotchKa, and Burlesque As It Was with a special appearance by Santa Claus followed, as well as more songs from Kitten on the Keys. I will certainly make it a point not to miss performances by these girls in the future, but I have to admit that I was waiting for Dita and Catherine to return.
And return they did, twice more, and both times in tandem. Their first number together featured a steamy phone-sex conversation from opposite sides of the stage, with brunette Dita playing the bad girl and blonde Catherine taking orders from her. In the finale to the show, the two girls rode out in full fetish gear and matching blonde bob wigs on the back of a Harley-Davidson and proceeded to strip off the chaps, corsets, and chains and cover each other with whipped cream while straddling a giant black inflatable phallus.
It’s great to see stripping revived as an art form and a way to enjoy yourself, rather than the means of paying the bills out of desperation that it’s so often seen as these days. The whooping and hollering crowd was nothing but respectful, if not downright worshipful of these women, and that’s how it should be. After watching a show like this, all I can think is, “I want to do that!”